Satirical letter to British high-commissioner

Prior to the anti-war demonstration on January 25th, the Hamilton Coalition to Stop the War sent a satirical letter to the U.K. High Commissioner in Ottawa. The letter asked for U.K. material and financial aid for our anti-war demonstration in Hamilton, much in the war that the U.K. involves itself in domestic politics in Iraq and Syria:

 

Letter to U.K. High Commissioner

Susan Jane le Jeune d’Allegeershecque
UK High Commissioner to Canada
80 Elgin Street
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, K1P 5K7
Your Excellency, Madam le Jeune d’Allegeershecque:
I am writing on behalf of the Executive Committee of the Hamilton Coalition to Stop The War to ask if it would be possible for you to join our antiwar rally next Saturday, January 25, at 1 pm, in front of the Federal Building in Hamilton, Ontario.

The rally is part of the Global Day of Protest against war on Iran and we have located our rally in front of the Federal Building because we intend to pressure the government of Canada not to become involved in any US military adventure on Iran by quitting NATO and by removing all of its troops currently stationed next door in Iraq.
Our Executive Committee noted that the UK ambassador to Iran, Mr. Robert Macaire, recently attended a protest in Tehran and was briefly detained by police.

Seeing that UK Foreign Office likes to involve itself in protests and dissent in other countries, we wonder if you also would attend our protest here in Hamilton and might, at the same time, help us defray the costs of renting a sound system, printing flyers, and purchasing picket signs (which are increasingly expensive, especially when laminated.) In addition, we have heard that, in the past, the UK government has made generous funds available to NGO’s in Iran to buy cellphones, video cameras, and purchase software, the better to be able to develop a higher public profile and to communicate with the UK Foreign Office and various western media outlets.
We could also use an aerial drone and professional operator to film our events for social media, if possible.

Finally, we aim to develop a higher public profile and to communicate with various Western media outlets who currently seemed uninterested in our message. Given the stellar work of the UK government in establishing and funding the White Helmets in Syria, we thought we could do the same here. With your help, we could inaugurate the “Canada Civil Defense,” to train our activists in social media, first-aid response, and winning an Oscar.

Therefore, Your Excellency, we feel that your presence in our rally would add immeasurably to the effectiveness of our protest and we would be delighted to offer you a priority spot high on our speaker’s list for that day.

Please respond concerning your availability at your earliest possible convenience,
Yours truly,
Ken Stone
Treasurer, HCSW.
 

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